Liz, it seemed, meant to get
Einar walking this new path without too much delay, as upon waking she rose
with an urgency that somewhat baffled him and left him looking to the sky in
search of some storm-sigh which surely he must have missed in his half-awake
morning musings, but there was nothing, no restless breeze, no scud of
slate-grey cloud wreathing a distant peak or scurrying menacingly across the
sky, no apparent cause for the near-frenzy with which she appeared to be going
about camp as she brought the fire back to life, put on a pot for melting snow
and added to its quickly liquefying contents a generous portion of bear fat,
dried serviceberries and elk jerky. A
mystery then and though not ready to speak—still reflecting on his earlier
musings, trying to get set in his mind some of the things he knew he must do to
begin seeking remedy for a situation no less dire for the fact that it was
almost entirely of his own making, but he watched her intently as she went
about her work, and she must have seen the question in his eyes, for she
nodded, glancing decisively at the less snowy, less steep lands down below.
“Yes, we’re going down. We need to go down. If you will.”
A nod. I
will. I’m with you.
“Ok!” Smiling with her eyes, face grave but joyful
as she returned her attention to the now-simmering breakfast stew, stirring furiously
as if the stuff could not be read soon enough.
Which, so far as she was concerned, it could not, for a variety of
reasons. Ready, and they ate, for Einar
a struggle despite his willingness, for the raven, an opportunity to snag a
bite or two of meat from ready hands and for the two women, energy for the day
ahead…
Down the slope, then. Liz had said they must go down—wouldn’t have
needed words to hear that one—and he, every fiber of his being wanting to resist,
to refute her, forced himself to be still inside, to turn away and to follow. Which—and this, to his somewhat unique way of
thinking, did provide some measure of consolation—was rather a great challenge
in itself, nothing seeming to want to cooperate that morning, limbs having
stiffened up terribly during his long night of stillness beneath the bear
hide. Though passing the dark hours in a
great deal more warmth than he would have done if left to his own devices, his
general condition had nonetheless suffered rather greatly due to the extended
period of motionlessness, and now—though perhaps rather more willingly than Liz
would have liked—he must pay the price.
Which he did, moving about quickly as he was able in helping to break
down camp and prepare for their departure, rolling hides and gathering the few
items Liz had brought along and stashing them in her pack, which he then
proceeded to strap to his own back, quite unwilling that she should be required
to carry both the entire load—for he and Juni had brought next to nothing—and little
Will as well. And he knew she probably
wouldn’t let him carry Will. Probably
shouldn’t, for certainly there were times when he had been a great deal
steadier on his feet than that morning. Would
be doing well to get himself down the first few hundred yards of descent
without a nasty fall or two, and there was no way the little one ought to end
up in the middle of that. Irked him to
no end to admit this, even to himself, but he knew it was true, and knowing, would
have had to refuse the charge of Will, had Liz attempted then to give it to
him.
Somewhat alarming, when he
stopped and thought about it—that’s your
problem, you know, this morning? This stopping
and thinking. Would get a lot more done
if you kept moving, saved the thinking for later—that only hours before and
in exactly the same situation, or perhaps even worse for not having had the
benefit of Liz’s hot breakfast, he would have quite willingly taken the little
one on his back and started down—or more likely up—that mountain without a
second thought. The idea of his slipping
on the steep, snowy rock, tumbling, falling, breaking things on the way down and
ending up a bloodied wreck at the bottom of a rockslide somewhere held little
fear for Einar, was, at worst, perhaps even mildly amusing for the images it
put into his head—vultures circling, diving, briefly reconnoitering before
dismissing his emaciated and by-then already half frozen carcass as hardly
worth the trouble; it gave him a bit of a chuckle—but the idea of Will coming
along for such a ride, no choice, simply dragged along because his father had
lacked, at the moment, the judgment and agility to successfully navigate such
terrain… Einar shuddered, quickly
looking away from the spot where happy, safe and entirely unaware of his recent
danger, his little son sat snug in the hood of Liz’s parka, playing with a
raven feather Thank
You for keeping him safe… And now,
on with his work. Prepare to leave, to
follow Liz down the mountain. Only, he
had stood still for too long. Could
hardly move.
The cold. Now that he had given up resisting it to the
degree required when one is contemplating spending a night out in it with so
little protection, the bitter chill of that alpine morning seemed to have
gained on him a greater hold than ever, gnawing, twisting, seizing with teeth
of iron so that every movement hurt and before too long he found himself
wanting very badly to curl back up in the comparable warmth of the hides—hey,
he’d done it for the night, hadn’t he?
Made that concession, why not go all the way?—tell everyone to go on
without him, and sleep. Just to spare
himself for a while the agony of movement, the bitter struggle of forcing
unwilling limbs to bend, flex, bear his weight.
Might have done it, too, had it not been for that thing within him—subdued
somewhat, in his willing desire to bend to Liz’s wisdom, but not wholly tamed—which
bade him keep going, take advantage of every opportunity for challenge and use it
to his advantage, as way to increase strength, endurance. And for Liz, herself—had her own expectations
of him, she did, and he’d no intention of disappointing her again, not this
time—who knew he needed the struggle and did not try too hard to intervene,
eyes mostly remaining averted as she made her own preparations. So, he kept on his feet, kept moving, and
soon they were ready to head down.
All this time Juni had
remained quite silent and kept herself somewhat apart, watching both instructor
and spouse as if at times unsure to which she was supposed to look for
direction, but observing after a time that they were of the same mind--or at
least that Einar had laid aside the demands of his own mind in favor of Liz’s wishes
for him. A challenging accomplishment,
indeed, for one whose strength of mind and stubborn will came anywhere near equaling
Einar’s, and she found herself surprised and somewhat impressed that he had
been able to do it, for however brief the stretch of time might in the end prove
to be.
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