12 February, 2012

Comments from 10 February

Anonymous said…
I'm thinking that the Nutella will go a long way towards providing his body with the nutrients it needs to come back from the edge. Especially since he's managing to keep it down better than the broth. I hope Susan packed even more of it in the stuff they bulk dropped.

A case of it, maybe! They’d better get to the site where Kilgore stashed that stuff before the bears come out of hibernation, if so! Yes, the Nutella ought to help pull him back from the edge, at the moment.

Nancy1340 said…
Very good. Thanks

Thanks for reading!

Anonymous said…

I've tried Nutella with all manners of things, but I'm convinced the best thing to have it with is.... a spoon!

heh

-CC

I’ve got to agree with you on that one! Though Nutella brownies are awfully good, too…
Like these: Nutella Brownies

Philip said…

two.
Men of WAR.
So close they breath each others air.

TRUST? Yes, at the end of a spear, for one....
For the other,
Reflexes more superior, as one is closer to death than the other.

Words. From 30 years ago or more???? Active NOW, present time.

that can be a driving force beyond normal human understanding, like the two Wives watching, listening.

in the end, Brotherhood.

Welcome HOME, Einar, it takes time, Brother, longer for some, than others....

Yet. Welcome Home.

i cried, the long tears.

Those which come as my Native American Friend said, "from your Cirrhosis of the Liver"....

Intense Chris, more than any I have read of yours.

Thanks, it is a healing to cry.

philip


Well then, I’m both sorry and glad that the story led you to do so, this time. Not easy stuff to write about. Thanks so much for your words. Welcome Home to you, too.

11 February, 2012

11 February 2012

I've got no chapter for today, but will be back with another tomorrow.

If you'd like something to read and look over today, here are a couple of articles--each with a lot of pictures--I recently posted in another location, one on basic wilderness skills such as covered in these stories, and another on a hike I did this past summer.





Hope everyone's having a good weekend!


(Philip--so good to hear from you today, and thanks for your words. Guess that chapter proved to be about as difficult to read, as it was to write...)

10 February, 2012

10 February 2012

With the storm showing little propensity to lessen as the morning went on everyone remained gathered close around the fire, Susan at times talking quietly with Liz about the baby, Bud sorting through his pack and attempting to restore some sort of order after having everything dumped out and strewn about in various states of dryness since their arrival and Einar turning his attention to his snowshoes, which, slung on his back, had received a bit of damage in his tussle with Kilgore just after their arrival. Bud watched as he worked, removing a few bits of damaged webbing and carefully splicing fresh rawhide in their place, setting the refurbished shoe near the fire so the damp hide strips and twists could dry and proceeding to coat them with pitch, rendering them as water-resistant as the remainder of the shoe. Good work, and very thorough, though at times Einar would catch himself staring off into space with no concept of what he’d been intending to do next, having to mentally retrace his steps in order to figure it out. During one of these episodes, concentrating very hard on trying to find his place in the world even as he stared at the half-spliced rawhide strip in his hand--should have been a clue, but unfortunately held no meaning for him whatsoever, at the moment--Einar was jarred from his reverie by Kilgore’s booming voice, the tracker having moved over nearer to watch the snowshoe repair process.

“Awful shame that I can’t take a few dozen pair of them things down and sell ’em in town for you, Asmundson. Craftsmanship’s superb, and I’m pretty sure you and the Mrs. could make a pretty comfortable living off that work if there was some way to get it down there, especially seeing as you haven’t got too many bills or monthly expenses of any kind, living up here like you do.”

Confused for a moment Einar shook his head, stared at the work in his lap until he’d got his bearings again and then he laughed, finishing his splice before glancing up at the tracker. “Well, guess maybe I might be able to have a half dozen or so pairs ready by the time the next fall rolls around, if you’re serious about it--and if you want to carry them out and claim the work as your own! Because I’m sure not lugging them down there and doing any door-to-door marketing… ‘Hi, I’m Einar Asmundson, your friendly neighborhood federal fugitive and master snowshoe-maker, and I’d like to show you my wares…’ Nope, not a good idea at all. Can’t see myself getting too far with that one. Nor would I want to risk the trips down to town to spend the money, even if it should succeed…”

“Well now that is a point, but you know, Sue and I could spend the money for you--and do an air drop or two every year with the stuff you wanted. New boots, traps, maybe some spices to add variety to all your rabbit stews and mountain goat roasts, all kinds of incidentals folks might find handy from year to year, living up here…could be a good thing.”

“Whoa, don’t be getting ahead of yourself. We set up anything like that on a regular basis, and it’s only a matter of time before it attracts attention and we get an unwelcome visit by the Mountain Task Force tactical team…or a more likely a Hellfire or two, right through the front door. Really want to avoid that, if we can.”

“Yeah, I know. Not much of a plan under the circumstances, but maybe in eight or ten years when they’ve managed to pretty much forget all about you and Task Force HQ has gone back to being an old, abandoned feed store, maybe then it’ll be practical. Though by then you’ll probably have four or five little Asmundsons running around up here, lots more to keep track of and no time to make spare snowshoes to sell. Of course by that time, this first little one’ll be pretty much a man, helping out a good bit, himself. Weird thing, life...”

To which the tracker got no response. Einar, though hard at work and trying his best to be part of the conversation from time to time was obviously struggling, sleep stealing up on him and leaving his head to nod over his work with an increasing frequency which did not surprise Liz in the least, seeing as he’d got little if any sleep that past night, and hadn’t done much better the one before. Would have been good had she been able to persuade him to curl up in the warmth of the bed--seemed he couldn’t even come close to staying warm there in the cabin, even with the stove going and a bear hide occasionally draped around his shoulders--and take a good long nap until supper was ready, but she knew the futility of making any such suggestion. At least he was, so far, seeming willing to accept the occasional sip of broth when either she or Susan pushed it on him, was managing to get more of them down than not, and that had to be a good start. Susan had a plan though, leaving the bed where she’d been visiting with Liz and telling stories of her own children when they’d been babies checking to make sure that Einar was still awake--he hadn’t looked it, there for a minute--before carrying it out.

Stepping carefully past the two men, Susan took down one of the jars of Nutella from the honored spot up in the rafters where she’d watched Einar carefully stash it the day of their arrival, pressed it into his hands. “Eat. You need a snack before dinner, and this ought to do you some good.”

Einar thanked her, stared at the stuff, turning the jar this way and that and pressing it to his nose as if able to smell right through the plastic--which, incidentally, he was--but made no effort to remove the lid, setting the precious vessel aside after a time, still staring at it if in a trance.

“Well, don’t just look at it,” Susan gently insisted, placing the jar back into his hands. “Won’t do you any good at all unless you eat it.”

“Oh yeah, does me a lot of good just to look at it. Beautiful thing to look at, dream about, and it makes me glad just to have it here sitting stashed away safely on the shelf where I know I can look at it whenever I like.”

Susan could see that he was entirely sincere but wasn’t buying his reasoning, not as an excuse to avoid the snack, at least, opened the jar, gave him a stern look, and a spoon. Several minutes later she again turned her attention to Einar after helping Liz clean out one of the cloth diapers she’d brought--it was a bit challenging, considering the lack of running water in the place, but could be managed, and would save them from having to venture out so often in search of fresh usnea lichen to use as absorbent diapering material--to find him wedged between the water barrel and the wall, slowly working on his third spoonful of the rich hazelnut paste and trying his best to conceal the tears that had begun tracing their way unbidden and quite unwanted down the sunken contours of his face at the first taste of the stuff. Susan left him alone, glad that he was eating and not wanting to make things any more difficult by bestowing unwanted attention.

Comments from 9 February

Nancy1340 said…
Better.

Thanks


Russell H Whyte said…
and another step towards recovery has been taken. Glad to see it.

Thanks for the new chapter!
Russ

Thank you both for reading. :)


Meplat said:

Good men do cry.

Mike

Well yes, just not in the presence of others, most of the time…

09 February, 2012

9 February 2012


The tracker grabbed Einar by the hand--met with some resistance; the man was shaking, eyes a bit wild, wanted to run, and he could hardly be blamed--and gave him a solid thump on the back, embracing him when he didn’t show any particular inclination to apply a strangle-hold and slip the point of that spear between his ribs. Wouldn’t have surprised Kilgore one bit, considering the circumstances. Einar freed himself, back to the wall and leaning heavily on the spear just to maintain his balance, bent over, and when Liz looked into his eyes they appeared to her immensely weary, anguished, perhaps even a bit frightened and she knew she was seeing a glimpse of something he’d always done his best to keep carefully hidden around her, seeing right through the vigilantly-maintained armor with which he kept himself surrounded. The lapse lasted only a moment and then the customary fire was back in his eyes, the hardness, Einar straightening himself and standing once more at his full height to face Kilgore. The tracker wasted no time, wanting to take advantage of the moment before it passed.

“So does this mean you’re up for considering our offer, now?”

A quick answer from Einar, no hesitation. “No, it really doesn’t. Still can’t risk taking my family down out of this place to one where there’s a greater chance of their being found out and captured. You know how things can go wrong with an operation like this…Kiesl could have been compromised in one way or another, your house could have been, they could be watching the plane…worth the risk if you’ve got a mission to carry out and it’s just you and your buddies and all, but I’m not putting my family in the middle of that. We’re pretty well set here, you’ve said it yourself. We’ll do fine for the winter.”

“Yeah, aside from the fact that you’re still dying just like you were earlier when we talked about this, and probably don’t have more than a good week or two left in ya at this point before you go and leave your lady and that kid all by their lonesome for the rest of the winter. What’re you planning to do about that?

“Live.”

“Yeah? How? Stuff you’re doing sure isn’t working. I figure you’d really best send the two of them out with us, even if you’re not willing to go, yourself. They’d be safe. Your Mrs. could cut her hair, color it and nobody’d know who they were, even if they were to walk right through town.”

Liz wanted to object at that point, declare unequivocally that she had no intention whatsoever of going anywhere without Einar, but Susan put a hand on her arm, shook her head. Let him finish. I’m sure he’s going somewhere with this…

“Seems to me, Asmundson, that unless you can come up with a better plan before we head out of here, the only responsible option is to say goodbye to your family and send them down there with us. Gonna be doing it anyway here in a few days if nothing changes, and at least this way, they won’t be facing the rest of the winter all alone up here.”

“Had it with you, Kilgore. Now how many times do I have to tell you that I’ve got no intention of abandoning anybody to spend the winter up here all alone? I’m in this for the long haul. Just going through a little rough patch right now, but it’s gonna work out just fine. You can go on down and meet your plane in a few days when you’d planned to do it, and we’ll all see you again sometime. Maybe in the summer.”

“You can be a real idiot, man, for such an intelligent guy. Can’t see the nose in front of your face, apparently. How much more plain do I have to make this? You’ve got medical training, a good bit of experience, actually, know the basics of how the human body functions and would be able to see the signs in anyone else--and know what to do about the situation, too, how to fix things--yet can’t seem to recognize them in yourself. You got nothing left to live on, Asmundson, and your body’s near giving out because of it. Heart’s beating so slowly at this point that it can hardly keep the blood moving well enough to supply your various parts and pieces with oxygen, brain’s got no fuel and it’s already burned up all the fat you had and every bit of muscle you could spare, and some you really couldn’t, looking for stuff to run on, to the point where now you’re having seizures because it’s scraped the bottom of the barrel and can’t find anything more… Besides which you’re severely anemic, deficient in almost every vitamin and mineral known to man, constantly dehydrated and on the edge of life-threatening hypothermia--or over it; purple is not a normal color for human hands and arms, you do realize, and that’s the way yours almost always are now--and worst of all, you’ve become so used to it that you think you’re doing just great. And will probably go on thinking so until the moment you take your last breath and keel over. Now you just tell me how you get from that, to ‘being in this for the long haul.’ You’re a short-timer, man. On the way out. You just don’t want to see it.”

Einar was inclined to be angry--the nerve of this man standing in his house putting a limit on his life, trying to number his days--but something about the events of the morning seemed to lessen the power of the anger, leave it sitting there all quiet and still inside of him so that instead of rising and raging at the tracker and all of his unwelcome pronouncements as he might normally have done, he simply nodded. “Yeah, I know it. But I’m not leaving here.”

“So, don’t leave. I know that’s a mighty risky operation, even when done the way we’ve got it planned, and don’t know that I’d choose to try it myself, in your shoes. But you got to do something, man. Something different. Seems half your trouble right now is that you’re so far gone you just can’t remember when you’re needing to eat and drink and such, can’t figure it out, and whenever somebody else suggests you might want to consider doing it, you get all prickly and riled up and won’t do it. Just to prove to yourself that you can keep on going without, keep on resisting or something. There’s a time and place for that, but this isn’t it. You might want to consider just letting that that thing go, for starters. That whole idea. Nobody here wants to do you any harm--not too much, anyway--and it wouldn’t hurt any to keep that in mind, maybe take folks’ suggestions now and then.”

Einar shrugged, wished he was somewhere else so he didn’t have to clamp his jaw so hard to prevent growling an angry response but he managed it, Susan seeing her opportunity and taking a step closer. “It might help,” she pressed him, “if you’d let either Liz or I prepare you meals and broth and go ahead and work your way through whatever we bring you, rather than only eating when you get the idea. Might help you get through these first few days when things are still pretty difficult…”

No response from Einar. He sat staring grimly at the floor, not liking the way they were pushing him, beginning to feel trapped and wanting very badly to be outside, out where the cold, clean bite of the snow could sweep and scour him, where he could be strong to resist…all of it, as he knew he must do. And he might have gone, had not Liz quietly approached just then, sat down beside him and placed the baby in his arms. Calm, mysterious eyes looking up into his own, that wrinkled little forehead as the child studied his father’s face and Einar smiled, something in him relaxing a bit as he looked up at Liz, and then Susan. “Yeah, guess that sounds like a pretty good plan.”

Comments from 8 February

Russell H Whyte said…

methinks Einar just took that first step towards finally putting some old ghosts to rest. Still a hard journey ahead for him, but that initial hurdle has been overcome. And with a son, he has something new to live for.

Not that they're out of the woods yet, no pun intended.

Russ

No, they don’t want to be “out of the woods!” That would be a problem, in this case. Yes, Einar’s son and his duty to that child has got to be a pretty bit motivation for him to get things in order.

practicalman45 said…

Yes, this heavy. A glimpse deep into Einar's soul. And him, finally after all these years of torment, facing it fully now in front of the others. This IS good. Einar may have the chance he needs now to take the path towards his own healing.
We can only hope.....

Thanks for keeping us supplied with all the new chapters, Chris. Wouldn't miss a word of them!

-Kevin

Thanks for reading, Kevin. Einar thinking, hearing and/or talking about any of these things in the presence of other people is probably one of the most difficult things he could do. He’s not convinced it’s a good thing, but I suppose it probably is, in the end.

Nancy1340 said…

Thanks

Thanks for reading.

Anonymous said…

Hopefully, the "hollowness" Einar feels inside, is hunger - for food. Setting something to rest can have that result, on occasion.

Thanks for the chapter FOTH, keep 'em coming. :)

-CC

I’m sure he is hungry, if he’d allow himself to feel it and do something about it.


Thank you all for reading.


08 February, 2012

8 February 2012

When Bud and Susan returned from their foray out into the snowy woods surrounding the cabin, it was to find Liz and Einar going about their day in what appeared to be a fairly normal fashion, Liz working over the stove and Einar pacing with little Will, who seemed to have taken quite a liking to perpetual motion when he wasn’t either eating or fast asleep. Liz greeted the returning pair, taking snowshoes and hanging snow-plastered hats and mittens near the fire to begin thawing out and drying, but Einar had nothing to say, throwing Kilgore a cold glance and resuming his pacing.

“How’s the storm coming along out there? From the looks of you two, it doesn’t appear to have tapered off too much…”

“Nope,” Kilgore replied, his voice a good-natured growl. “Howling and rumbling something terrible, still. Looks like we’re in for a good long day of it. Tracks getting filled in nearly as soon as a person makes em, and you really can’t see more than a few feet in any direction, when it’s really blowing. Fella could get pretty badly turned around out there, if he wasn’t careful. And maybe,” a sideways glance at Einar, “even if he was. But one thing’s for sure. Storm like this will have entirely wiped out any sign we left coming up here. We’re in the clear, far as that goes. And could manage it the same way as we leave here, too, if we plan it for a day or so before the next major storm to roll through here. Leave nothing behind that’d last more than a day or two, make a clean break. Sue and I will be doing it that way for sure, watching the weather and letting Kiesl know to come just before the storm, and you folks can be on that plane with us, if you’ve decided to be agreeable.”

Einar handed the baby to Liz, eyes strange, quiet but holding something potentially deadly as he swept the room. “Need to ask you something, Kilgore. Tried it before but this time I’m expecting answers, or nobody’s leaving this place anytime soon, yourself included.”

“I’m listening.”

“You know what this is about. How’d you know him? Know to say those things the other morning, and in…that accent. No mistaking that accent.”

Kilgore wasn’t much interested in engaging in such talk with the “womenfolk” about, particularly his new wife, but as the womenfolk did not appear in the least inclined to find their way outside into the storm just then and Einar crouched there stolidly, spear in hand, standing his ground and not looking much like moving an inch until he’d got his answer, he sighed, shook his head and figured there was no way around it. One last try though; he might as well make one last try at delaying it until sometime when the two of them could have some space to themselves.

“You really want to get into this now?”

A nod from Einar. “Now. I want answers.”

“Ok, answers. Gonna be real direct on this one. Time for some directness. Well, you know I’ve told you I was there when they loaded your friend Andy’s body on the plane for his trip home, but I never did tell you how come, did I?”

“No.”

“I was there on the raid, Asmundson, when we jumped in where we had no business being, shut that place down, retrieved his body and two others and burned those stinking bamboo cages where they’d held you guys. Most of the little buggers got away, seemed they’d been anticipating some sort of action and had started scattering before we got there, didn’t even stick around to put up much resistance. We got ahold of a few of ’em though, and I did have the opportunity to spend some mighty long hours of quality time with a certain intelligence officer before we cleared out of there, my terms, not his. Fella’d stuck around trying to round up and save a bunch of documents from that tin shack he used as his quarters, near as we could tell--lot of notes from his mostly-failed interrogations, things like that, all stacked up neatly on this oblong grey table with a little stool in front of it, chair behind, ready for him to carry out of there--and we ended up getting them, too."

"The Ðại tá put on a good front at first, lot of bluster and bravado and steely stares from them cold little snake eyes of his, but turns out he wasn’t so brave in the end, not when faced with the sustained application of his own tactics... They seldom are, you know. So yeah, I knew the guy, knew that mongrel speech of his, Russian and English all tied up with bits of his mother tongue, and yeah, I used that knowledge to rile you up and pull you out of that doggone abyss you were sinking into the other morning, and it may have been wrong of me, but I didn’t have a better idea at the time, and seeing at it was a success, I’d do it again.”

“He’s dead then.” Einar’s voice was flat, face blank as he stared straight ahead at the wall, not seeming to see, and the hollowness in his eyes scared Liz a fair bit for she had seen it before, knew what often came after.

“He is indeed dead, and has been for well over three decades. I am witness.”

More silence. Susan and Liz stood near each other, tending the stove and watching little Will as he stirred in his sleep, slowly realizing the significance of what they’d just heard, and not entirely sure how to take it. Might have wished not to have heard, especially Susan, but then, the hearing of a thing is nothing compared to the doing of it, the years of living with and questioning the decisions made--if Kilgore had ever questioned; to look at him, hear him speak, one might wonder--and in that light, she supposed she would rather have heard than not.

Einar didn’t know what to think. Whether to believe the man, even, still wanted to doubt and question and wonder if it was all part of some elaborate deception--to what end he could not guess, but life was full of things like that, and one could not be too cautious--though somewhere deep in his soul, he knew that the tracker’s words rang true. Dead. Shouldn’t have mattered so much to him after all those years, the fate of the man who had been his tormentor and likely the one--other than himself, for that blame would remain, he was sure, until the day he took his last breath--most responsible for Andy’s death. It had been something he’d wondered about on occasion but not for a very long time, and now…he felt dreadfully hollow inside, lost, somehow, wished he could be alone. More alone. If that was even possible, which he doubted. He stood, let out a big breath and faced Kilgore.

“I believe you.”